


Deadlines

by TheLittlestBoho



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:24:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittlestBoho/pseuds/TheLittlestBoho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles thinks in deadlines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deadlines

Sometimes Stiles wants to punch Scott. Wants to grab him by the collar and shake him until he starts to see sense. Sometimes he's grabbed by this overwhelming urge to just scream in his best friends face, remind him over and over to open his eyes and see what the hell is going on.

The world is falling apart around them, people are being hurt and dying, threats are coming in from every direction. And Scott, beautiful, idiotic, rash Scott can only ever think about Alison.

But Stiles doesn't do any of those things. Doesn't slam him into walls the way the wolves always do to him. Doesn't shove him in a chair and whisper threats until his eyes go wide. Because, despite it all, Stiles likes Alison. He loves Scott. He wants his friend to be happy. Likes seeing him smile, hearing him laugh. Likes knowing that Scott has one more person there to take care of him if anything ever happens to Stiles.

Because that's how Stiles thinks now. He thinks in deadlines. In what ifs. Every move he makes his now hinged on making sure there is someone to take care of Scott. Someone to take care of his dad. Someone to take care of Lydia, and Ms McCall, and the pack. Someone to take care of Derek.

Sometimes, Stiles thinks the main reason he wants to rip into Scott isn't just because of the danger he puts them in on a daily basis. It's because he's jealous.

He's jealous of all the people at school who like him, of the fact that he has a mom, a job, that he can focus for more than five minutes at a time. He's jealous of the fact that Scott has a friend who sees how hard these changes are for him, while Scott's become so used to Stiles that he forgets that his best friend is constantly medicated.

Mostly he's jealous of Alison. Jealous of what Scott has. Jealous that Scott gets to have it.

Stiles wants that. He'd thought he wanted it before, with Lydia, but the jealousy back then had been furious and angry and short-lived. The jealousy he feels now though, that's a different beast. It's slow burning, always sitting somewhere in his rib cage. It's wrapped up in want and desire and so much hatred for the way things have gotten. Of the fact that things hadn't gone differently. Because if things were different, if betrayals hadn't happened, lives hadn't been lost, he could probably have that thing he wanted so much. 

He could've had Derek.

As it is they're relegated to looks, and glares that everyone assumes are directed at one another. But they're not, they haven't been in a long time. Now when Derek shoves him against a wall, eyes red, Stiles knows it's because the werewolf can't go another minute without touching him. He knows the anger is directed at the situation, not at him.

Stiles has been in love with Derek for months now, in that sort of all-consuming way he'd always dreamed of. He knows, logically, that it's so strong because he can't have it, doesn't have an outlet, but that doesn't change things.

So he makes snide comments to give Derek that excuse to push him around. Asks questions he knows the answers to just so Derek can lean over his shoulder, breath warm against his cheek while they look at a book or computer or notes. He reads it on Derek's face when he needs space, knows Derek reads the same things on his expression. The days when the longing is too much, the pain too strong, the jealousy too overwhelming. And they find reasons to fight. Innocuous stupid reasons to fight, to go days apart, because no one will question it if Derek and Stiles fight. After all, they hate each other.

Sometimes, when they're feeling weak, Derek will make up an excuse to have Stiles alone for five minutes. He'll stare at him from across the room, careful not to touch, never touch. They won't say a thing until Derek let's out a cross between a sob and a growl and Stiles will close his eyes and clench his fists.

"I know. Me too. I'm sorry." 

And they shake it off, swallow back the tears and the anger, and go back to the others. They snipe and snark and no one notices the way Stiles pulls his sleeves down to cover his shaking hands, the nail bites on his palms. They don't notice the way Derek takes up more space than he needs, how his claws don't go away. Because they're teenagers, they're kids who are in way over their head, and kids like that miss the obvious things with their friends because at least it's not a threat.

Stiles has been in love with Derek for months. Maybe longer. And sometimes he wants to shake his best friend until his teeth fall out, because he doesn't realize how lucky he is. How is mom still trusts him, doesn't have an extra drink every night. How he gets to be with the woman he loves even though she's a hunter.

Because Stiles doesn't get that. Stiles doesn't get to be with the man he loves, because that would change everything. And right now, the way things are going, change in the pack, at this level, could ruin everything. Could put them all at risk.

Because Derek is the alpha. Because the pack needs to trust him, needs to follow him. They need strong leaders. And if they realized what Stiles was, how important he was to their alpha, they would instinctively do more to protect him. To protect the weakest member. The leaders mate. They would put themselves at risk, when that just can't happen. 

Stiles and Derek are like gunpowder and gasoline. They're like greek fire, like natural disasters. They complement each other in all the best ways, the tactician and the executor. The wolf and the lamb. They are every kind of power.

They could do amazing things, they do amazing things. But not if it hurts the pack. Because they don't need to talk about it, don't need to fight it out. The pack comes first, will always come first. And they're on a clock, every moment of every day.

Stiles and Derek could be great. But greatness also means danger. Means pain. Means the end of everything. No more happy endings.

Stiles thinks in deadlines.

He hates it.


End file.
